IT'S SABOTAGE! Revise your Resolutions!

WRONG. It's ALL WRONG. 

DO NOT LISTEN TO THE (photoshopped)ABOVE GRAPHIC!

I apologize in advance to the creator of this original image (without my added "WRONG!"), the person who likely photoshopped the model, the fitness blog to which it belongs (which I will not post simply because I don't want to propagate such a negative idea), and most of all to YOU, my reader, for having to view it. I honestly hate seeing it up there. But for now, it's a necessary evil, if only to deconstruct the entire idea! 

How did I find it? I stumbled upon this pin today looking for positive imagery to motivate my healthy lifestyle and I had to pause for a moment, ruminating over how entirely wrong and volatile it was. I'll debunk this horrible sentiment in a moment...but first...

ARE YOU A VICTIM OF SOME "SELF/FITNESS" MAGAZINE? 

I was. FOR YEARS. Barraged by images of unattainable fitness and airbrushing, I subjected myself to these magazines for what I THOUGHT was motivation, but what I discovered was that I was actually doing something entirely different. Before we go any farther, I'm not suggesting that you never use images of what you'd LIKE to be for inspiration--I do this often myself, and I especially enjoy posting humorous graphics about running! I'm merely suggesting that you pay careful attention to the words and ideas you are feeding your mind, because you might discover you are doing what I was doing:

I WAS INTENTIONALLY PUNISHING MYSELF. 

In between artistic images of quinoa dishes and gigantic, dewy pictures of fresh blueberries, a sinister force waited to knock me down and steal the wind out of my sails. The January and February issues were always the worst. With each flip of the page, slender yoga models caused me to meditate over how my body 'could never look like that'. Yet, it was time for a "new year, and a new me". It was time to "lose the flab and be fab". February was the perfect season for my "beach ready abs"! IT WAS TIME TO SHAVE EVERYWHERE AND WHITEN MY TEETH!!! MY CURRENT EARTHLY VESSEL WAS FLAWED AND BEYOND SALVAGING! Have you fallen prey to those New Year's magazine subscriptions or supposedly "inspirational" Pinterest pins? How are those unrealistic, self-deprecating New Year's resolutions working out for you? Yeah...me, too. 

I know it's hard. We can never be perfect. And we always bite off more than we can chew. And damnit, our intentions are SOO good!

As we celebrate our last day of the first month of 2014, I'd like to offer a REVISED New Year's resolution you'll never read in a fitness magazine:

"This is your year to start the lifelong journey to your best, healthy self. Your best, healthy self is unique, and simply can't be quantified by weight, image or other physical descriptors. It means inside and outside physical and mental health, self-love, and peace. You can take big or small steps to get there now, but it's a journey you'll be taking for the rest of your life, and there will be up and down roads. You'll need to be gentle with yourself, and love yourself--you deserve it. You'll need to feed yourself quality foods. It helps to move your body in a way that invigorates you and makes you feel your best. Do it for your mind--not for your abs."

I know, it doesn't fit nicely over an image like the one above. 

Ugh...that image. 

I don't even want to waste too much time with it, but I have to call attention to some MAJOR flaws with this sort of punishing reinforcement.

Negative/punishing reinforcement: what is it? Well, put simply, it is motivating because we know the outcome of a poor decision will be bad. "Don't touch that stove--you'll get burned!" Or "Don't get pregnant at 16, or this could happen to you!" (Thanks, MTV.)

The only problem with negative/punishing reinforcement is that our child-like sub-conscious is ever-so-delicate, and absorbs suggestion like a sponge. Consider, for example, that a child is running down the hallway, and you scream from behind them:

"DON'T RUN!!! DON'T RUN!! DON'T RUN!!"

This is what they hear: "RUN!!! RUN!!! RUNNNNN!!!"

How do I know this? 16 years of working in education, 6 years of college instruction for elementary education, and being a mom. 

Instead, if we're smart, we say, "Walk. Use your walking feet. Walk carefully."

So please consider that, in the above graphic, what your ever-so-delicate subconscious will hear is:

"FAT! UNHEALTHY! FAT! UNHEALTHY!"

FORGET THAT.

Here's what you're going to say instead:

"This is the first day I am fit and healthy." And the next day, when you get up, feeling stronger than before, you'll say "Another day of being fit and healthy!" 

AND THE NEXT DAY: MORE! 

AND THE NEXT WEEK: MORE!

AND THE NEXT MONTH: "I'm a damn CHAMPION!"

That's how we're doing things this new year.

GOT IT? ;)

Cold Weather Beauty: 5 Ways to be Pretty in your Parka

Click the picture above to visit its source at Marie Claire's Top 7 Winter Beauty Tricks!

COLD WEATHER BEAUTY:
5 WAYS TO BE PRETTY IN YOUR PARKA

(Because if you live in West Michigan, you are headed to Party In Your Parka this weekend, right?)

1. Start with moisture... Begin your beauty regimen by giving your hair and skin the extra conditioning it needs to be in the elements. For your skin, exfoliate and use a moisturizer all over that contains vitamin C if possible. Even if your skin tends to be on the oily side in winter months or indoors, being out in the winter elements will dry out skin and you might want to beef up your formula. The same goes for hair--the night before an event where you may be exposed to the extreme cold, apply a conditioning hair mask or leave in conditioner to your locks and get them prepped for sub zero submersion!

2. Forget the foundation!Normal foundation and powder can do strange things in super cold weather, adhering to patchy parts of skin and becoming thick and pasty. Super cold temperatures don't allow products to blend as easily with your skin, so you may want to consider switching to a BB cream or tinted moisturizer. Don't have one? No big deal...make your own! Try blending your liquid foundation with a moisturizer like the ones listed above. You can even add your own nutrients by throwing in a vitamin E gelcap and maybe even a touch of bronzer!

3. Get your glow on, but maybe skip the blush. Winter weather is definitely the perfect time to add a little shimmer to your look with a touch of bronzing cream, or a dusting of iridescence once you are done applying your makeup. Because your cheeks might already be flushed from the temperatures, you can probably skip your normal blush, or instead try a little rouge cream for some added moisture to skin that may already be slightly flaky or dried out!

4. Go waterproof and go bold. Definitely bust out the water proof mascara and eyeliner for an outdoor even to avoid the Tammy Fay Baker runs and stand up to random snowflakes and moisture that will try to infiltrate your look. Winter is a perfect time for bold, smoky eyes. Try adding iridescent and light shades like white, pearl and gold to the inner creases of your eyes to add light and "awake" factor, and finish a bold eye look with a more neutral lip.

5. Use these hairstyle tips (plus styling ideas!) Cold weather can actually "set" curls and keep them longer than hot and humid weather, provided there isn't a ton of precipitation to ruin the show. However, exposure to the elements can really dry out hair and make it frizzy. Run a dryer sheet (really!) over strands to eliminate frizz, and if possible, wear your hair in a braid, chignon or bun! If you prefer to have your hair down, control the fly-a-ways and moisture falling on you with a warm cap (but you probably already planned on that already if you're heading to Party in Your Parka...it's Michigan after all, right? BRR!) Need some hat hair inspiration? Check out my blog from last year's Party In Your Parka prep..."Hat Hair: It's a good thing!"

Click the image below or here for a flip book of some winter hair style ideas from Daily Candy!

WINTER COAT STYLE: 6 Ways to Party in your Parka!

Image from "They Call Me Redhead"

WINTER COAT STYLE:

6 Ways to Party in your Parka!

I'm thrilled to be participating in this year's annual Party In Your Parka (see last year's coverage here--it was a total blast!!) as the resident stylist, and creating stylish warmth couldn't possibly come at a better time, as Michigan has been experiencing some of the coldest temps in DECADES due to the recent "polar vortex"! 

While we here in the mitten state are hoping to the frigid heavens that these arctic conditions subside, the question remains:

How do we balance warmth with fashion?

I've been busy pinning images today for you (all images below are courtesy of Pinterest and the pinboard links to their respective sources) with some ideas on how to do just that! All of the looks shown here could be easily thrifted--at least in part! Read on for some ideas on how to work some "wow" into your "winter wardrobe"--and don't forget to put Party In Your Parka on your schedule (all day on Saturday, January 25th) for an awesome amount of winter fun, craft beer, and entertainment all in the beautiful outdoors at North Muskegon's Winter Sports Complex!

1. Create a unique color theme with your scarfs, hat, mittens and coat. I LOVE the combo of red and salmon.  A bright matching knitted set can breathe a lot of life even into a basic pea coat! Try unlikely color combos for even more attitude, such as the above culmination or perhaps teal with blue, hot pink with yellow, plum with pink, or anything else you can think of that pops. You won't know until you try... 

2. Go all black. I feel that all black somehow seems so sleek and fresh in winter. It has a streamlined feel to it--even in a puffer jacket like the one shown above! The eye is drawn to the face--a perfect opportunity to play up your eyes and lips if you like dramatic makeup!

3. Salt and Pepper it. It's fun to layer salt and pepper, hounds-tooth, grey wool, stripes and chevron together. Try a mono-chromatic look that pulls together different elements of your wardrobe, and consider tossing in a few camel or nude accents (like the backpack above).

3. A dramatic hat and fur. 'Nuff said. But I can't end this paragraph without mentioning how much I adore this look, even though the look was created for a tween gal. I absolutely LOVE the hat with long hair and fur elements, and I'm thinking of putting together my PIYP outfit with similar inspiration!



4. Do a dress coat with black tights! Preferably some very thick and warm ones, if you live in Michigan--and don't forget the boots! I'm particularly fond of the ivory and black combo. Earmuffs and a nice knitted infinity scarf (maybe fur!) would top the outfit off well!

5. Rock and Roll in a Vintage Snowsuit! I couldn't leave out this option after one of my friends and also a PIYP organizer, Sara Sass, mentioned that she had bought awesome retro snowsuits for her and her boyfriend to don at the Party in Your Parka event. So much fun, and for anyone who loves kitsch and vintage items, probably a little nostalgic, too! Glam sunglasses and a fur hat really take it to the next level on this one.



6. ...Or an awesome vintage parka! I love the unexpected brightness and retro appeal of the goofy neon parka shown above. So much, in fact, that I did a little searching of my own! Anyone looking for a rad snowsuit or vintage parka might also want to sift through some of the awesome retro goodness below:

Vintage Rainbow Snowsuit and Jacket Ebay Results Here! 
(Don't forget to look at your local thrift store!)

SEE MORE LOOKS BY CLICKING THE PINTEREST BUTTON BELOW!

Road to the city of emeralds...

"THE ROAD TO THE CITY OF EMERALDS
Is Paved With Yellow Brick"
-- Frank L. Baum

Do your recognize the above quote? It's a line from the book, "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz". Even though bright yellow isn't exactly what I consider to be one of my most flattering shades, I can't help but feel cheery when I put it on. This becomes especially important when you live in a state that is full of snow and grey skies during the winter. We've barely seen any sun in weeks and yesterday's temp was 12 degrees. UGH!

No matter the frigid cold, I still braved the temps to step outside for a quick snap of this yellow, black and taupe outfit. It is 100% thrifted and the fabulous vintage Liz Claiborne crossbody purse was a thrifted Christmas gift from my best friend Jenna (the yellow collared shirt also happens to be vintage Liz Claiborne!). I couldn't wait to throw it into the rotation, and I felt like it was the perfect addition to the color scheme I had going!

New Year, New Body: Kate's Transformation Story

Kate trying on evening dresses just for fun at a consignment store in Grand Haven--something she was never able to really enjoy doing before her surgery. 

MEET KATE.

Kate is a mom, a wife, a director at an assisted living center, a musician, and also a close friend of mine! Like most of us, Kate is hoping that 2014 brings her family happiness and blessings, but she's also starting off the new year with a big bang: a brand new body.

Unbelievably, within the last 2 years, Kate has lost more pounds than she currently weighs! In 2011, she underwent a Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery at 320 lbs. Concerned for her future health and ready to make a change, Kate began her journey, and after reaching a healthy BMI and stabilizing her weight, she embarked on her final procedure: a skin removal surgery to remove the extra skin around her tummy and show her new, slim waistline.  

Kate found lots of great items to try on from Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift; 
from pencil skirts to vintage shoes! 

Kate's story has been an open book for family and friends to read; she has been very transparent with her transformation. As the final stage of her metamorphosis unfolded, I invited Kate on a shopping trip to Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift in Grand Haven, Michigan, and asked her to share her story on the blog in the form of an interview. 

Kate's hope for readers is to shed some light on why she chose weight loss surgery, what she's learned along the way and of course--what her new style looks like! My hope for all of you reading at home is that you can share in Kate's joy and her choice to make a positive physical change for health. Many people have a hard time understanding weight loss surgery, and what I've learned as a friend supporting another friend is that it wasn't really "easy" at all--there were many ups and downs along the way. 

Ultimately, no matter what you weigh, I hope that your goal for 2014 is to love yourself, care for yourself, and try to be the best version of yourself possible--and that has absolutely nothing to do with the scale!

Check out the interview below and click through the image gallery I've created to see Kate's beautiful outfit shoot! 

______________________________________________

KATE'S NEW OUTFIT: 100% thrifted from Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift in Grand Haven, Michigan! Vintage peach blouse (love the detailing on the back collar!), adorable green statement necklace, plum pencil skirt, and vintage shoes!


THE INTERVIEW:

What kind of a role did body image and expectations play in your formative years? 

I was never in a position in life where I beat myself up over my body, I knew I felt uncomfortable with it and I was attempting to hide it. As a young child and into my mid teens I was never considered “Obese” I was just bigger than the other kids. I noticed it when I was in 5th grade, sitting on the bench at the pool with all my classmates.. I noticed then and there that they did not have the girth that I had. I will never forget that moment.

During that time, how did your concepts of self influence how you dressed? 

I was incredibly active in my youth and the effect my body had was on my ability to fit into what the other girls were wearing in terms of uniforms. Back then they did not make “big girl” clothes!
I had to wear boys clothes for sports. I knew I was different from a very young age. I wore what fit. Period. It did not matter how I felt about it, I had to clothe myself.

How do you think that your body image affected your life paths, emotionally or otherwise?

The struggle I felt and can clearly look back on is being taken seriously. I was never treated poorly by anyone, never teased, never left out and never a lack of male attention later in teenage and early adulthood years. I was incredibly fortunate to have been instilled with a personality and drive that kept my forward momentum going and the people in my life and the individuals I a have come across now tell me they never “saw” me as obese, they just saw Katie. It was a considerable struggle to get serious and follow through with anything due to my weight, my knees, my back and my energy. I always was an upbeat, good-natured, large personality with a lot to offer to any relationship or simply a conversation in the check out lane. My confidence never faltered. I never experienced deep dark times due to weight. I was one of the lucky ones. There was no eating disorder...sure, I gorged on Oreos once when I was 8.. like the whole bag! Yep, I had seconds… much like everyone else sitting at the table.

When did you make the decision to have weight loss surgery and why?

I started looking into is about 5 years before I had it. I exhausted the research options until I was satisfied and comfortable with my decision. I knew it was time when I simply felt like an observer of life rather than a participator. I had a young daughter that I wanted to play with, set a good example for and ride roller coasters with! On several occasions someone in a planning phase of an outing would say to me “Is that something you are comfortable doing?” in reference to my ability to function through pain and low energy. I knew then it was time to change as I was directly affecting others lives now too. I was 32 when I had my surgery in May of 2011 at a high weight of 320 pounds. Today I have lost more than I now weigh and am in the normal BMI range for the first time since I was 12.

What advice can you give to other people who are considering the surgery? 

There comes a time where we say enough is enough, if this were breast cancer, I would take a cure available.. my weight was also deadly, my obesity would have killed me eventually. I was done trying over and over and in the meantime hurting my body, my self esteem, watching life happen around me while I sat dodging the high blood pressure, diabetes bullet.  Smart people have these life changing surgeries, active people, healthy people, sick people. It is ok.
I have had one person ask me if I feel like I “took the easy way out” …. My answer “If curing the disease that would have killed me without CONSTANT diet and exercise (of which statistics are not good) is the easy way out? Then so be it.. I did what needed to be done medically that was available to save my life.

How has weight loss surgery changed your life? 

Wow, where do I begin… I have lost 167 pounds. I feel like I am taken seriously in life, I do not have to work to convince people that I am intelligent, that I have ideas, which I will follow through with. My performance in life and work alone is now enough to prove my worth. I have accelerated in position to a high level executive with a national certification in my field. I quit smoking, I run, I rode a roller coaster with my daughter, I ski again…… I could go on, or you could imagine doing what you dream about and that is your own personal answer to how this could change your life too.

How would you describe your sense of self and body image now, and how has that impacted the way you dress and shop?

Shopping for clothing now is pretty overwhelming, previously the Plus size section was drab, low choice.. fat girls must not like anything stylish because you just cannot find it for a decent price. Yes there are plenty of options as we sit here today…have you seen the prices??

What are your favorite styles of dress, and how do you prefer to shop for clothes? What dressing/shopping challenges have you encountered over the course of your transformation?

Walking into a department store pretty much makes my head spin with options, where do I start? What do I like? What looks great on me and is within my style? WAIT?? What is my style? I have always known what I liked, had many Pinterest boards for what I like..but do they really fit my life? My likes, my personality? This has been a major wake up call for me to really dig in, get into my head, pay attention to my body and appreciate it in its healthy state. We all view healthy in different ways.. from feeling svelte, sexy, thin, happy, content… and yep, it feels darn good to have clothing that simply fits and looks good, not digging into my skin, cutting off the circulation to my lower extremities when I sit down. I still cry sometimes looking back at the struggle I dealt with for so long. It is still painful and I still weep out of sadness for that girl. Now I weep for others in that situation. I hope they can find the way to help themselves, do the research, find a way to make it happen.. and most importantly be ok with it!

What is the one clothing item you have a hard time resisting at the thrift store? 

One? Really? Just one? Shoes… Because my feet fit the cute ones now!

What is the most valuable "golden nugget" of knowledge you have gleaned from your journey regarding happiness, health and positive attitude towards your physical self? 

Support. Find support, seek it. I have never been a “support group” kind of gal, however, there are many online resources, groups, forums, data, information and people with experience that are more than willing to guide you.. use it. Not all friends and family will be supportive, they are scared, they have never been obese..they have NO CLUE what it is like to be you. Find people that do support you and do not trip over your own feet trying to convince those that are not supportive. Share your research with them and let them decide. But lean on the folks that are happy for you. The others will come around.. I promise!