Who I am: Future Blog Plans and Changes on the Horizon

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe - See more at: http://exploreforayear.com/clarity/45-inspiring-quotes-change#sthash.mIpcwRJA.dpuf

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe - See more at: http://exploreforayear.com/clarity/45-inspiring-quotes-change#sthash.mIpcwRJA.dpu

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” -Marilyn Monroe 
Image courtesy of Fanpop
 
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WHO I AM

Future Blog Plans and Changes on the Horizon

It's hard to believe that I started my blog four years ago.

I had so many vintage and thrifted treasures to share. I wanted to blog about a lifestyle that was centered around reduced consumption, and I loved the idea of sharing vintage and secondhand clothes. I also happened to be PETRIFIED of photographing my body, and I was working through quite a few body image issues, finding my voice, and shifting gears professionally.

While I never found my blog to be vapid in its content (fashion or otherwise), I was afraid to over-saturate my readers with too many posts regarding body image, or life topics that didn't seem to be calibrated for a thrift fashion blog. Slowly, bit by bit, I began to add healthy cooking, and more pieces on image and self-love. I still maintained my love of thrift, and fashion, but the content became a little more heady, and I was glad for that--because I'm a writer, and I love sharing myself with my readers!

Still, sometimes I worried that new readers and Facebook fans would wonder about my blog's name--that perhaps "Thrift Trick" wasn't really an accurate handle for me anymore.  For the last year, though I've very much enjoyed connecting with readers on my website and through re-published content on Grand Haven Tribune and even an interview on NPR, I've felt that my name was a limiting container--something that was keeping me from fully expressing myself.

Re-branding your blog (and essentially your voice) is actually quite an intimidating process. Each time I thought about doing it, a new opportunity for my existing blog would prevent itself, and I would think, "How can I risk stunting this momentum right now? My blog is really starting to become what I've always wanted!" Yet, there was a little voice inside of me that proposed that perhaps my blog's name was actually holding me back.

It's taken me a long time to make the decision, and I'm finally pulling the trigger.

I'm re-branding.

More answers and new changes will be on the horizon, but the most important thing that I'd like to communicate to my readers (and I appreciate EVERY single one of you!) is that my content won't really be changing too much. Here's what you can expect from the new blog:

  

--Thrifting and a lifestyle that promotes reduced consumption

--Healthy cooking

--Fashion and Beauty

--Positive Self-Image

--More interviews, guest writing and street fashion that spotlights real people with interesting stories

--My photography

--The addition of new media (more on that soon!)

The truth is, it's really what I'm doing right now! However, the new blog will be more appropriately named, so that more people who are interested in a conscious, mindful lifestyle can successfully connect with me.

If you are already subscribed to my blog and visit frequently, I hope you will continue to do so once the changes begin. I also value your feedback as readers, and I'd love to hear from you. I will begin applying changes over the next month, and by April, I will have completed everything.

Do you have any questions or suggestions for me? Please comment below--I value your input!

Clarity in Transparency: Delighting in the Small Once Again With Maura

Image courtesy of www.Post-Gazette.com

Clarity in Transparency: 

Delighting in the Small Once Again With Maura

 “That’s a pretty color,” Sarah says, swirling her toes in the water gently next to her father’s foot. “Thank you,” Maura replies softly, with happiness. “It’s called ‘Cherries on Fire’.”

                                                     

     I’m in love with Transparent, a wonderful new 2014 Amazon Original Series featuring an incredible Jeffrey Tambor as a newly transitioned transgendered woman, Maura. Formerly known as a retired male Professor of political science with three children ranging from twenty-somethings to thirty-something, Maura has begun her transition in later life, and the dark, emotive comedy and drama that ensues have been totally captivating me (a person who rarely watches television).

     Why? Well, first and foremost, I find the writing and acting to be totally superb. Secondarily, like any other human connecting with an art form, Transparent hit me in the proverbial “feels”, and it has sparked so many wonderful thoughts inside of me about body image and how we, as humans, journey through life with such amazingly complex senses of self.

     The emotional stress and complexity of transitioning as a transgender person is something that I will never be able to fully understand, because it isn’t my personal journey—but that doesn’t mean I can’t be an ally for my dear transgender friends, and all of the wonderful people I know (and don’t know) who identify on the LGBTQ spectrum. In fact, I’ll soon be offering a very thought-provoking feature and interview from an incredibly eloquent friend on what it is like to transition as a transgender woman, and that experience has been so educational for me. It’s important for me to offer that perspective because it isn’t fair for me to speak for a group of people who can absolutely do it for themselves, and powerfully so.

     Still, whether you are a cisgender individual (someone who identifies with their biological gender) or a transgender individual (someone who feels a deep disconnect with their biological gender and identifies emotionally and otherwise with the opposing gender), you will certainly feel a thousand moments of uncertainty in your lifetime.

    

     Do I look fat?  

     Do I smell bad?

     Do people find me attractive?

     Do I have a silly sounding voice?

     Are people laughing at me when I walk out of the room?

     If you have had the easier road, like me, of identifying as cisgender, you may have been taking many everyday “luxuries” for granted.

     Think about it for a moment. Let it sink in. For a transgendered man, something as mundane as trimming a beard could become the most rejoiced act of self-care ever cherished (instead of a dreaded chore).  For a transgendered woman, carefully brushing out the tangles from long hair could be blissful, rather than an annoying. For an individual who simply desires, so wholly, to present to the world the physical identity they feel is their own but yet they do not possess, the simple form of the body and its grooming rituals could become a beautiful ceremony. Yet, it could be a beautiful ceremony for anyone of any gender—and why not?

     Concerning the subtle nuances of gender—everything from the assumed power of a male to the soft femininity of a woman; a confidant stance or a delicate gait—it is well know that our society pushes an unfathomable amount of gender appropriation on people every day. So many imposed ideals—“Wear this, not that”, or “Be sexy but not too sexy”, or “You’re not allowed to self-express that way”—create such an unrest among people that all humans (cisgendered and transgendered alike) experience turmoil at times in their lives, as they construct their “looking-glass selves”.    

     No matter our gender, or sexual orientations (two entirely separate entities), we can find moments of joy inside our bodies and senses of self. We just need to slow down—to Maura speed.

      “That’s a pretty color,” Sarah says, swirling her toes in the water gently next to her father’s foot. “Thank you,” Maura replies softly, with happiness. “It’s called ‘Cherries on Fire’.”

     This quote, from Transparent, is at the very end of the half-hour long episode six, “The Wilderness”.

     Maura is relaxing in the hot tub with her oldest daughter, Sarah, processing another difficult day that has been filled with plenty of transitional turmoil (and not just her own). As she takes a drag from her cigarette, she stares into the darkness, and I image she is reflecting on all of the minute victories and hefty barriers that she has already encountered in her transition to womanhood.

     Yet, right from episode one, Maura stops to take joy in so many small moments. A blouse that she is excited to wear, clip-in hair extensions, and the pretty toe-nail polish that her daughter has complimented her on in the shade of “Cherries on Fire”. She relishes these opportunities because the joy she feels in being able to finally express herself gives her an abundant amount of gratitude.

     What if anyone, at any time, could tap in to that kind of gratitude?

     What if you took a few moments today to appreciate a freckle, a slender finger, a boisterous laugh, a crisp collar, a perfectly plucked eyebrow, or a bit of sparkle on your ear? This is not limited to any gender or orientation. It’s about being present—taking joy in the small things that you can do for yourself each and every day. Even if you feel as though you can’t stand your body for one more moment. Even if your body isn’t the one you want to be in. Perhaps you can find one feature, or one accessory, or one self-care ritual that you can express gratitude and joy for. I know that moment is worth experiencing.

     I’m turning in for the night—in fact, looking forward to watching the next episode of Transparent—on my Amazon Prime account whilst relaxing in bed, but I’m going to be watching with a conscious mind, thinking of ways in which I can feel gratitude for this life I live, and this body that I’m living in.

     It’s a gift.

                                                     

Additional Reading and Resources

Understanding Transgender: Frequently Asked Questions About Transgender People from TransEquality.org

Five Steps for Being Present from Psychology Today

Transparent Official Trailer from Amazon Studios

New Year, New Body: Kate's Transformation Story

Kate trying on evening dresses just for fun at a consignment store in Grand Haven--something she was never able to really enjoy doing before her surgery. 

MEET KATE.

Kate is a mom, a wife, a director at an assisted living center, a musician, and also a close friend of mine! Like most of us, Kate is hoping that 2014 brings her family happiness and blessings, but she's also starting off the new year with a big bang: a brand new body.

Unbelievably, within the last 2 years, Kate has lost more pounds than she currently weighs! In 2011, she underwent a Duodenal Switch weight loss surgery at 320 lbs. Concerned for her future health and ready to make a change, Kate began her journey, and after reaching a healthy BMI and stabilizing her weight, she embarked on her final procedure: a skin removal surgery to remove the extra skin around her tummy and show her new, slim waistline.  

Kate found lots of great items to try on from Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift; 
from pencil skirts to vintage shoes! 

Kate's story has been an open book for family and friends to read; she has been very transparent with her transformation. As the final stage of her metamorphosis unfolded, I invited Kate on a shopping trip to Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift in Grand Haven, Michigan, and asked her to share her story on the blog in the form of an interview. 

Kate's hope for readers is to shed some light on why she chose weight loss surgery, what she's learned along the way and of course--what her new style looks like! My hope for all of you reading at home is that you can share in Kate's joy and her choice to make a positive physical change for health. Many people have a hard time understanding weight loss surgery, and what I've learned as a friend supporting another friend is that it wasn't really "easy" at all--there were many ups and downs along the way. 

Ultimately, no matter what you weigh, I hope that your goal for 2014 is to love yourself, care for yourself, and try to be the best version of yourself possible--and that has absolutely nothing to do with the scale!

Check out the interview below and click through the image gallery I've created to see Kate's beautiful outfit shoot! 

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KATE'S NEW OUTFIT: 100% thrifted from Lakeshore Rescue Mission Thrift in Grand Haven, Michigan! Vintage peach blouse (love the detailing on the back collar!), adorable green statement necklace, plum pencil skirt, and vintage shoes!


THE INTERVIEW:

What kind of a role did body image and expectations play in your formative years? 

I was never in a position in life where I beat myself up over my body, I knew I felt uncomfortable with it and I was attempting to hide it. As a young child and into my mid teens I was never considered “Obese” I was just bigger than the other kids. I noticed it when I was in 5th grade, sitting on the bench at the pool with all my classmates.. I noticed then and there that they did not have the girth that I had. I will never forget that moment.

During that time, how did your concepts of self influence how you dressed? 

I was incredibly active in my youth and the effect my body had was on my ability to fit into what the other girls were wearing in terms of uniforms. Back then they did not make “big girl” clothes!
I had to wear boys clothes for sports. I knew I was different from a very young age. I wore what fit. Period. It did not matter how I felt about it, I had to clothe myself.

How do you think that your body image affected your life paths, emotionally or otherwise?

The struggle I felt and can clearly look back on is being taken seriously. I was never treated poorly by anyone, never teased, never left out and never a lack of male attention later in teenage and early adulthood years. I was incredibly fortunate to have been instilled with a personality and drive that kept my forward momentum going and the people in my life and the individuals I a have come across now tell me they never “saw” me as obese, they just saw Katie. It was a considerable struggle to get serious and follow through with anything due to my weight, my knees, my back and my energy. I always was an upbeat, good-natured, large personality with a lot to offer to any relationship or simply a conversation in the check out lane. My confidence never faltered. I never experienced deep dark times due to weight. I was one of the lucky ones. There was no eating disorder...sure, I gorged on Oreos once when I was 8.. like the whole bag! Yep, I had seconds… much like everyone else sitting at the table.

When did you make the decision to have weight loss surgery and why?

I started looking into is about 5 years before I had it. I exhausted the research options until I was satisfied and comfortable with my decision. I knew it was time when I simply felt like an observer of life rather than a participator. I had a young daughter that I wanted to play with, set a good example for and ride roller coasters with! On several occasions someone in a planning phase of an outing would say to me “Is that something you are comfortable doing?” in reference to my ability to function through pain and low energy. I knew then it was time to change as I was directly affecting others lives now too. I was 32 when I had my surgery in May of 2011 at a high weight of 320 pounds. Today I have lost more than I now weigh and am in the normal BMI range for the first time since I was 12.

What advice can you give to other people who are considering the surgery? 

There comes a time where we say enough is enough, if this were breast cancer, I would take a cure available.. my weight was also deadly, my obesity would have killed me eventually. I was done trying over and over and in the meantime hurting my body, my self esteem, watching life happen around me while I sat dodging the high blood pressure, diabetes bullet.  Smart people have these life changing surgeries, active people, healthy people, sick people. It is ok.
I have had one person ask me if I feel like I “took the easy way out” …. My answer “If curing the disease that would have killed me without CONSTANT diet and exercise (of which statistics are not good) is the easy way out? Then so be it.. I did what needed to be done medically that was available to save my life.

How has weight loss surgery changed your life? 

Wow, where do I begin… I have lost 167 pounds. I feel like I am taken seriously in life, I do not have to work to convince people that I am intelligent, that I have ideas, which I will follow through with. My performance in life and work alone is now enough to prove my worth. I have accelerated in position to a high level executive with a national certification in my field. I quit smoking, I run, I rode a roller coaster with my daughter, I ski again…… I could go on, or you could imagine doing what you dream about and that is your own personal answer to how this could change your life too.

How would you describe your sense of self and body image now, and how has that impacted the way you dress and shop?

Shopping for clothing now is pretty overwhelming, previously the Plus size section was drab, low choice.. fat girls must not like anything stylish because you just cannot find it for a decent price. Yes there are plenty of options as we sit here today…have you seen the prices??

What are your favorite styles of dress, and how do you prefer to shop for clothes? What dressing/shopping challenges have you encountered over the course of your transformation?

Walking into a department store pretty much makes my head spin with options, where do I start? What do I like? What looks great on me and is within my style? WAIT?? What is my style? I have always known what I liked, had many Pinterest boards for what I like..but do they really fit my life? My likes, my personality? This has been a major wake up call for me to really dig in, get into my head, pay attention to my body and appreciate it in its healthy state. We all view healthy in different ways.. from feeling svelte, sexy, thin, happy, content… and yep, it feels darn good to have clothing that simply fits and looks good, not digging into my skin, cutting off the circulation to my lower extremities when I sit down. I still cry sometimes looking back at the struggle I dealt with for so long. It is still painful and I still weep out of sadness for that girl. Now I weep for others in that situation. I hope they can find the way to help themselves, do the research, find a way to make it happen.. and most importantly be ok with it!

What is the one clothing item you have a hard time resisting at the thrift store? 

One? Really? Just one? Shoes… Because my feet fit the cute ones now!

What is the most valuable "golden nugget" of knowledge you have gleaned from your journey regarding happiness, health and positive attitude towards your physical self? 

Support. Find support, seek it. I have never been a “support group” kind of gal, however, there are many online resources, groups, forums, data, information and people with experience that are more than willing to guide you.. use it. Not all friends and family will be supportive, they are scared, they have never been obese..they have NO CLUE what it is like to be you. Find people that do support you and do not trip over your own feet trying to convince those that are not supportive. Share your research with them and let them decide. But lean on the folks that are happy for you. The others will come around.. I promise!

Why I can't thrift boots: How ill-fitting footwear helped me to love myself

Why I can’t thrift boots: 

How ill-fitting footwear helped me to love myself 

It’s a waiting game. At the end of August, autumnal-worshipping fashionistas are already chomping at the bit for weather cool enough to buy or wear the ideal boot with their fall outfit. Rack after rack of riding boots, calf boots and lace up booties begin to surface at every department store, and large shoeboxes arrive on many doorsteps as the women inside cross their fingers in anticipation… 

Will the shoe fit? 

Like everyone else, I'm excited about outfits with boots. Pants with boots. Skirts with boots. Everything with boots! All the way through winter! Though I enjoy “brand spanking new” items as much as anyone else, part of my personal credo and mission as a conservationist and a thrift blogger is to ask myself: Can I find this item second-hand before I buy it new? The answer, almost undoubtedly, is yes. EXCEPT…and this is a painful exception…when it comes to boots. 

Why can’t I buy most boots second-hand? The answer isn't because of orthotics, worn leather, or fear of some type of “shoe cootie” (though I hear this stops many people from buying footwear second-hand  and I can assure you, I've never had an issue). No, the answer isn't about anything aesthetic or personal in the least. 

I simply can’t fit my calves into them. 

Let us now take a journey… to a place called Lithuania. 

 Welcome! Long before its independence as a nation in 1918 (and before erecting a tributary sculpture to FRANK ZAPPA in 1995, which is entirely awesome), Lithuania has been turning out strong, sturdy Baltic men and women. As a primarily middle class or poverty stricken nation, it should be noted that Lithuanians are a WORKING culture; a laboring people. Hard physical effort, tending to one’s own land and athletic capabilities including dancing are considered to be common traits amongst the people who hail from this land. (I can attest to that, because my Lithuanian great grandparents and grandfather were avid gardeners and also loved to polka.) Their union and immigration to the United States (specifically, Grand Rapids, Michigan) made possible my own family lineage that includes many short, stocky and muscular relatives, whose hearty statures and longevity have served them well. 

 Grandpa Don Verbis in the yard, where he spent many hours drinking beers and growing his amazing tomatoes. 

 Yet, I haven’t always been so proud of my natural born Lithuanian calves. 

For many years, I envied the slender-legged girls. Oh, the tan, slender-legged girls of summer who boasted never-ending gams of perfection in their baby doll sun dresses! Oh, the slender-legged running women of the road who seemed to glide along the pavement like gazelles in their North Face micro-shorts without a trace of cellulite or thigh dimpling. Oh, the slender-legged women of Shoe Carnival who slid their willowy calves into fashionable boots with ease, their legs slipping inside like a greased pill down a wide throat. 

How I desperately wanted A. Yet, I felt like B. 

(Okay, B with a side of jiggle and cellulite.) 

 I wish that the comparisons with my plus size body and what I deemed as perfection had ended at my calves, but alas, I spent my entire adolescence, teen years and twenties casting my whole body into the depths of “Not Good Enough Land”, where hoodie sweatshirts covered love handles and baggy jeans masked my stumpy stems and thick thighs. Though I had always loved dresses and fashion in general, it was easy to hide behind the casual gear at that time in my life. I was a musician; a rowdy guitarist for a heavy indie band. My punk rock attitude only made it easier to hide my figure behind clothes that camouflaged the pain of dis-satisfaction. I hated my body, and because I hated it, I treated it poorly. I didn't always eat well, and I didn't exercise often, let alone take time for self-care rituals. Just as one would expect, my issues with weight only increased further, and I had fully convinced myself that my problems were only external. 

What diet could I try to fix the problem? What magic piece of gym equipment could restore my self-worth? Shocking, I know…but there wasn't one. And there isn't  And there never, ever, will be. If you are reading this article right now, hoping for such a thing…stop dreaming right now, and instead wake up. Take a terrifying leap as I did, into the cavern of your soul, and feel around in the dark for a “jagged rock”—a problem--like the one I had. 

My “jagged rock” was a roadblock to self-acceptance. I couldn't properly quantify the worth--the purpose, the advantages--of my physical body. It took me thirty years, but I finally jackhammered that rock and blasted it into a thousand pieces. Inside the rock, a thousand golden nuggets spilled out, filling me with the understanding that, not only was my body worthy of my praise, attention and—yes—even celebration, it was also full of purpose. 

Suddenly I realized that the muscular, Lithuanian calves I had cursed for years had carried me through much rough terrain throughout my lifetime. They allowed me to climb from the depths of despair to the heights of happiness, supported my footsteps on every journey of my life’s transformation, upheld my pregnant belly with ease and, later, the weight of my son upon my shoulders. They even endured mile after mile as I ran down the road with strength and exhilaration. 

 The mental metamorphosis was swift and enlightening. 

I gave up on having someone else’s legs, and opted, instead, to have a big, fat slice of fall fashion pie, buying myself some properly fitting, wide calf boots. While I was relishing in the sheer joy of self-love and acceptance (and riding boots, yay!), I decided to call myself an athlete because of my love of running and my training efforts (a title formerly forbidden, in my mind, to a slender-legged gazelle). I even realized a dream of mine and created a fashion blog where I photographed my own, plus size body (gasp!) in clothes I had styled, because it was a body that I loved; one that was mine, and full of purpose. Now that I revered and praised this body for its service, I could begin to honor it with only the best nourishment, exercise, and self-care routines. And then something even MORE magical happened: when I saw the purpose and beauty in myself, I began to notice it all around me. I just couldn't keep quiet about it. YES, that included ALL body types, because despite my comedic tone about slender-legged women, we can all be beautiful. Bodies are different, and beautiful, and purposeful. 

As you can probably predict, the more I valued my body, the happier and healthier I felt, and the more weight I lost. I quit referring to myself as a “work in progress” and tried to focus on being present. Though I'm sure I’ll always dream of a tighter tummy and skinnier slacks, I'm not wasting one more day of my life waiting to live. Ever. Again. 

The cherry on top of my own journey to self-discovery would be to pass this knowledge on…even if it is just to one frustrated woman who is out shopping this afternoon, measuring her self-worth in the dressing room of a department store. 

 Don't waste another minute.

Today is the day to love yourself and recognize how your physical body has served you.

Today is the day to treat your body well, to feed your body well, to dress your body well, in items that fit you. 

Forget about the goal pants and the thrifted boots. 

Today is the day to buy new boots.

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P.S. Are you looking for a wide calf boot? I gotchu, girl!

Target: Kimberly Riding boots (available in store) 

Woman Within Wide Calf Boots (I'm wearing a pair in the first picture!)

Wide Calf Boots at Lane Bryant